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Musical Excrements

IDONTWANNABESURROUNDED

by Déhà

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Arrogant Bastard
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Arrogant Bastard Not my usual musical fare, but when the Angry Metal Guy cadre drool over something, it's worth your time. An eclectic blend of post-punk, DSBM lyrics and black metal, Déhá has definitely piqued my interest. Favorite track: IWISHITWOULDALLBEFINEINTHEEND.
The Mad Professor
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The Mad Professor When the world keeps throwing constant shit at your life, give this one a listen. It’ll make you feel better

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knutepanhead
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knutepanhead Since discovering Deha via Aurora Borealis, he has never ceased to amaze me. He is fearless and refuses to be tied down to just one thing. I greatly admire him for that. I wasn't sure if I'd like this one, and I don't. I LOVE IT!! Deha truly has a gift and this fine, fine release is yet another example. Great job Deha! Favorite track: IDONTWANNABESURROUNDED.
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about

This album is a mixture of styles (punk, black metal, post punk, streetcore, ...) with an aura of pop music. Made to be easy listening and "power songs", this album was made by Déhà as a challenge to focus his pop influences into a weird, unique album.

"IDONTWANNABESURROUNDED" treats of teenage angst & depression, which can linger at adulhood.

The album is meant to be listened in "one" shot.

Very important note : mistakes, off-tuned vocals and so on were left for reality checks.

credits

released December 30, 2019

Everything (lyrics, vocals, guitars, keys, bass, drums, recording, mixing, mastering) by Déhà - 2019 - Brussels, at Opus Magnum Studios

Cover by Kax - www.facebook.com/kaxtaclysm

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Déhà Brussels, Belgium

Non-bands material, from every style of music, any kind of music, concept, ... done by Déhà (Musical Excrements) /// Logo by Médérick Infekt

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Track Name: IDONTWANNABESURROUNDED
why the hell did i wake today / it's all the same that begins again
there's a major problem in all this, can't go out from my place
cause the way i am and i look don't mean i walk in grace
spreading this fucking sick face i've worn for far too long
i'm sorry, jesus christ, i'd like your nails deep in my fucking eyeballs
i don't wanna be surrounded (fuck life, fuck love, fuck me and fuck you all)
what the fuck have i done today / i can't seem to understand my way
there's a tiny problem in all this, think i'm gonna explode
i would rather be dead by now than walking down the road
spreading this fucking sick face i've worn for far too long
i'm sorry, jesus christ, i'd like your nails deep in my fucking eyeballs
i don't wanna be surrounded (fuck life, fuck love, fuck me and fuck you all)
Track Name: NOTHINGOUTLOUD
right
can't seem to feel anymore / never thought i would reach this (kind of) sore
no way to make me feel, to make me see, to make me reach it
can't feel the fire anymore / i'd like to burn my skin to the core
there's no fucking way, there's not even just a place where i can be, no place that i can see
deep down i feel and know ther's something unwell and i see
my surroundings are being pulled off from all sanity and me
then i come back and put some tracks, nothing can calm me down
i would bless the day, but i've lost my faith, i'm lucifer underground
and the more that i feel, i'm screaming loud / but no one seems to hear, nothing out loud
and the more that i see, i wanna die / when the great wolf is sick, the whole pack says goodbye
and the more that i feel, i'm screaming loud / but no one seems to hear, nothing out loud
and the more that i see, i wanna die / when the great wolf is sick, the whole pack says goodbye
mother, forgive me for i am not what you wanted
father, forgive me for i am what you hated
sister, forgive me for i am exactly what you feared
friends, forgive me for i will always be a souvenir
right
can't seem to feel anymore / never thought i would reach this sore
no "make me feel", no "make me see", don't make me reach it
can't feel the fire anymore / i like to burn my skin to the core
there's no fucking way, there's not even just a place where i can be, no one that i can see
and the more that i feel, i'm screaming loud / but no one seems to hear, nothing out loud
and the more that i see, i wanna die / when the great wolf is sick, the whole pack says goodbye
and the more that i feel, i'm screaming loud / but no one seems to hear, nothing out loud
and the more that i see, i wanna die / when the great wolf is sick, the whole pack says goodbye
mother, forgive me for i am not what you wanted
father, forgive me for i am just what you hated
sister, forgive me for i am exactly what you feared
friends, forgive me for i will always be a souvenir
there is no way that i could have seen this
there is no fucking way at all
Track Name: ITHINKIMFALLINGAGAIN
one shall fall with all darkness inside
one shall feel the thousand fights of the mind
and when one can't bear, the fire shall light it all
and one shall watch his skin fall
i think that i'm falling again / i thought i was flying
i think that i'm falling again / and i still am used to the pain
do you remember, when we used to sleep, we would fly away from all
and even if sometimes, our heart has stopped, we were not scared of a fall
then i feel the same, but every day, and i'm conscious along the way
i can see the ground closer to my face, and i can't fucking go away
i think i'm falling again / i've got too much to say
i think i'm falling again / i've got too much to bear
i wake up at night, without someone to hug, and the whole room seems so strange
and i've done it all more than a thousand times and the outcomes never change
that i can't fucking sleep, not anymore, and them pills don't help at all
and sometimes i wish that my heart would stop, cause i'm not scared of a fall
i think i'm falling again / i've got too much to say
i think i'm falling again / i've got too much to bear
i remember since my birth (i can't fall asleep)
wanted to be able to see
but i was compromised at first (i can't fall asleep)
i fucked up at seventeen, and i'm still paying my debt to be
i think i'm falling again
Track Name: THEENEMYTHATIMISS
love, i will miss every hour of your whole self and i will miss how i've worn all the pain you've given, or how i still kept on and on blaming myself. and i remember the silence when i, alone, screamed your name but with you, i would keep quiet, my mouth (sawn). And I am asking myself, is it my blood or tears staining your white silky gown while you're caressing my hair, feeding me again all the fears. and i can't tell if i worship you from all my own or if i want to kill you, keeping you nearly as a trophy from a war which i've won and you're the enemy that i miss dearly. So when i'll leave, you'll miss me and all sore, no matter the cuts, no matter how deep, as i watch you like you did before : only when you're broken, then i will sleep. only when you're broken, then i will sleep. only when you're broken, i will sleep. only when you're broken, i will sleep. ​i'm at this point in life when nothing works, where i see my being as a parasite for myself. i can't imagine the excruciating hurt i've done. i can't fathom how i've destroyed you and there's no words, no chords sufficient enough, i can't make it work, and there's no music that i can make, so i'll take the walk. and when i left, i have missed you and now i am sore. no matter the cuts, no matter how deep, as i see me as you were before. now that you're broken, i can't sleep. now that you're broken, i can't sleep. i can't sleep. i miss you. i miss you.
Track Name: STAYSOBER
hey
i am not someone to lecture you without a precise goal
i am not someone to make you see that you're about to fall
cause i found in you, in so many ways, the best i've seen in life
but i can't shake this feeling off my skin, that you should feel it all and let it thrive
so stay sober / let it all overwhelm you
so stay sober / so you can feel it all
so stay focused / don't make it a fiction
so stay focused / and feel your depression
withdraw yourself from easy solutions
and feel the pain to its apogee
cause i've done it all and i've done it wrong, cause in the end it was superficial
so let it drown yourself, and give in to reality
cause i'll be that someone, and i'll be that friend,
and i'll tell you that you've become so numb
and i'm stuck on the feel of what you used to be,
i want you aware to despair, to nightmare, to nowhere so don't succumb
cause i know when i fucked up, and i don't wanna escape
i wanna feel the pain so much so i am not afraid
and i want the same for you, for all the shit that you've done
what you've done, what you've done, what you've done, what you've done
so stay sober / let it all overwhelm you
so stay sober / so you can feel it all
so stay focused / don't make it a fiction
so stay focused / and feel your depression
so stay sober
Track Name: ITSHARDTOBESELFISHBUTIMTRYING
"It is then not easy, you know, for people to, actually, just get a nice life. it is now understandable how drugs, alcohol and the problems that happen with people, and depression of course, can lead to suicide. And unfortunately, it is one of the main problems in nowadays's world and uh, as you can see around here, people are just going to work and just being okay and trying to be okay but are they actually happy in their lives? that is something that we should actually try to answer and i can tell you from my own experience that we are not happy. we are faking happiness and we are just trying to believe that we are happy people, when as a matter of a fact we are not. we would never be happy, and this is a problem."
Track Name: COMPLAININGISFINE
fuck life
not even our elders say that we'll be safe / cause all life has gone to shit, surviving has become a maze
and we're supposed to get off with job, with kids and with love / but all life has gone to shit, i pity the one who loves
i need to breathe outside / but then my thoughts arrive / i cannot walk a line / then maybe complaining is fine
i'm talking about the one who knows the meaning of suffering / all these crippled soulmates, their old souls, they are drowning
talk about a way to make it good, talk about these utopias / and i'm tired of all these words, of these empty mouths, meaningless cries
is there a goal to burst out of control / and to spit it out, all the shit we're through, and the ones we lost, and the loves we're through
is there a goal to burst out of control / maybe we put words on us and we'd see the light shining from us
i need to breathe outside / but then my thoughts arrive / i cannot walk a line / then maybe complaining is fine
i need to breathe outside / but then my thoughts arrive / i cannot walk a line / then maybe complaining is fine
Track Name: THESKIESOPENES
findind a job in a shit city / crowning a wife as necessity / no man no cry, cause that's not your job / i can't take no more, sending all to fuck
even if the skies opened, it's dark (no one wanna know your name)
all light from humanity has died (fuck that, you're the ones to blame)
take a picture / of the future / they're all vultures / they fuck cultures
take a picture / of the future / they're all vultures / they fuck cultures
waving the white flag to the darkness inside
all these perfect people see no more than what they thought right
be a product, buy a product, your emotions are buy-able
all these things i hate and i can't do no shit about them and it's alright
i might soon disappear and that thought makes me smile
Track Name: ITSCOLDHERE
i just wanted to talk to you
seeing how you're doing today
i feel it's time, again, to know you
after all this time, seeing you should be child's play
yell me about him and how he sees you
yell me about his love and how it feels in your heart
yell me about him and how his past has moved you
yell me, did you tell him how you tore me all apart
and did you tell him how you left me down the hole
i've felt a warmth on your skin
i've known all fires die but not so soon
i've crushed my bones to know you, so now look how I've been
My love, you destroyed me and I hope he will do you so soon
Crush me again / hurt me again / follow me again / tonight
Destroy me again / and cut me again / laugh at me again / abandon me again
And fuck me again / and drain me again / so fuck me again / and push the knife tonight
Make me forget - the times that we spent - i can't do it, i can't - it's more than i can take
I love with my full heart - and i suffer with the same - the skies fall around me and i can't take your smile anymore
Track Name: IWISHITWOULDALLBEFINEINTHEEND
i'm drained of all my forces / cold thrill from all the losses
and would it all be nice if it just starts to rain
no joys to fill the corpses / of all my different innards
and would it all be nice if it just starts to rain
let it fall / we've lost it all
i tried to find a way / to mean the words i say
but i could only touch a heart as deep as
a knife through heart / i'm gonna lose my part
and i would never step on to the play of life
there is no goal to keep on / a knife through hearts and move on
there is no fire anymore / i just feel alive when I'm sore
i keep on walking through these roads / don't know what i'm looking for
and would it all be nice if it just starts to rain
sometimes the only thing i / wish for is to not know life
and would it all be nice if it just starts to rain
i tried to find a way / to mean the words i say
but I could only touch a heart as deep as
a knife through heart / a'm gonna lose my part
And i would never step on to the play of life
there is no goal to keep on / a knife through hearts and move on
there is no fire anymore / i just feel alive when i'm sore
there is no goal to keep on / a knife through hearts and move on
there is no fire anymore / i just feel alive when i'm sore
Track Name: ISITRIGHT
it's been more than fifteen years / that i wrote this song
and it's all the same feeling / though it's been so long
and call me / a fool for not having gone / past these times of old / where i roam
and tell me / again how you've done it all / please make me feel low / it's your goal
remind me / to call when i'll be okay / it's not like you to pray / for the sad
but tell me / my friend, do you remember the day / where you cried and i stayed / is it right?
is it right?
is it right / that i never complained of you / when you and i were through / yet i stayed?
is it right / to call when a need is from you / no matter if i'm in blue / can you tell me when i failed?
can you tell me when i failed
and call me / a fool for not having gone / past these times of old / where i roam
and tell me / again how you've done it all / please make me feel so low / it's your goal
is it right / that i never complained of you / when you and i were through / yet i stayed?
is it right / to call when a need is from you / no matter if i'm in blue / can you tell me when i failed?
can you tell me when i failed
Track Name: YOURENOTAHERO
fight with your all / no matter the price
destroy all you've thought was nice
love it to pieces / and kill it with pride
this is all you'll ever write
it's all in your book / in your book of lies
a selfish polar noir with light
you say it's all worth it / that you write it in blood
it's just a deceit made at night
you're not a hero / you don't fool anyone at all
you're not a warrior / and you don't even know the pain of a fall
you're not a hero / you don't fool anyone at all
so stop the charade and now speak, from whom you took the life away
been watching you / in your room full of stuff
you're not the same one that you want
and everyone know / don't you even doubt that
and while you pretend, we can't
our life is a mess / and we don't complain
no matter how hard, we try out best
so shut up completely / cause we're not the same
you're not the same, you're not the same

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